How curiosity, support and a new perspective can help us move forward
Have you ever noticed how quickly we can judge something when it does not make sense to us?
We see one small part of a situation.
We hear one sentence.
We notice one behaviour.
And without realising it, we quietly decide that we understand the whole story.
But recently, several different experiences have reminded me how much can change when we soften enough to say:
“Perhaps I don’t know.”
Those words may sound uncertain.
But I am beginning to see them differently.
They create space.
They allow curiosity to enter.
They help us ask questions, receive support and see possibilities that were not visible before.
Reconnecting through sound
Recently, I went to Brighton to experience Japanese environmental and ambient music.
The event was hosted by Nick Luscombe, someone I have known for around thirty years.
We had lost contact for nearly twenty years, but when I discovered that he was hosting the event, I decided to drop in and say hello.
It was lovely to reconnect after such a long time.
There was something meaningful about meeting again through music.
The sounds were experimental, spacious and sometimes unexpected.
They encouraged me to listen without needing to understand everything immediately.
Sometimes sound reaches a part of us that words cannot.
Sometimes a person from our past reappears at exactly the right time.
And sometimes reconnecting with someone reminds us that life is still moving, even when we feel unsure of our direction.
Receiving advice differently
Around the same time, I had the wonderful opportunity to attend a dinner with my mentor, Ken Honda.
I was lucky enough to win one of the seats and spent the evening with twenty-four other like-minded people.
Ken answered questions from the participants, and many of their questions resonated with me too.
I gained new insights and made some meaningful connections.
The evening came at a particularly good time because I had been feeling slightly stuck.
I was not necessarily unhappy.
I simply felt unsure about what my next steps should be.
Sometimes we stay inside our own thoughts for so long that we keep looking at the same question from the same angle.
We may think we need more ideas, more effort or more creativity.
But sometimes what we really need is another perspective.
It can be helpful to spend time with someone who is a little further ahead on the path.
Not because they have every answer.
But because they may be able to see something we cannot yet see from where we are standing.
During the evening, I remembered asking Ken a question once before.
He gave me advice, but at the time I found it difficult to receive.
Perhaps it felt too challenging.
Perhaps I thought I had to force myself to follow it.
Perhaps I simply was not ready.
This time, something had changed.
His words did not feel forceful.
They did not make me feel that I had to push myself.
Instead, they felt as though they gently opened a door.
Perhaps the advice had not changed.
Perhaps I had.
I think I am becoming softer with myself.
And because of that softness, I can hear things differently.
When judgement appears
Another reflection came during one of my morning walks through the trails and forest.
I love noticing the small changes in nature.
The light is different.
The sounds change.
Plants appear and disappear.
The same path can feel completely different from one week to the next.
But I have also been noticing quite a lot of rubbish.
Some of it is easy to understand.
Some of it makes me stop and wonder how it ended up there.
One thing that especially puzzled me was seeing a dog-waste bag left beside the path.
I found myself wondering why someone would take the time to use a bag, but then leave it behind.
At first, I felt annoyed.
The behaviour made no sense to me.
Then I realised something simple.
I am not a dog owner.
I did not have enough information.
So rather than remaining in judgement, I asked a friend who owns a dog.
She explained that sometimes people leave the bag somewhere visible because they plan to collect it on their way back, especially if there is no bin nearby.
Of course, this does not mean everyone remembers to return for it.
And it does not make leaving rubbish in nature acceptable.
But it reminded me that there may be more to a situation than the small part I can see.
Sometimes we judge because we do not have enough information.
Sometimes we judge because we do not have enough inner space to imagine another possibility.
When we are tired, stressed or overwhelmed, certainty can feel easier than curiosity.
But curiosity creates space.
Instead of asking:
“Why would someone do that?”
we might gently ask:
“What might I not be seeing?”
Softness is not weakness
I used to think that becoming softer might mean becoming passive.
Now I see it differently.
Softness does not mean agreeing with everything.
It does not mean avoiding boundaries.
It does not mean doing nothing.
Softness creates space for clearer action.
When we soften, we can admit:
“I don’t know.”
Then we become curious.
We ask questions.
We listen.
We allow ourselves to receive support.
And people often begin to give us a hand.
Someone shares an idea we had not considered.
Someone offers a different perspective.
Someone introduces us to another person.
Someone says something we have heard before, but this time we are ready to receive it.
We stop trying to carry everything alone.
And then, when the timing feels right, we take one small action.
Taking a step towards Japan
Recently, I booked my flights to Japan for March and April.
It is one of the most beautiful seasons in Japan, and I am already looking forward to reconnecting with my roots and returning to Kurayama.
Booking the ticket felt like a real action.
But the action did not come from forcing myself.
It came after allowing time to listen, reflect and feel what mattered.
Perhaps the journey will not only be about returning to a place.
Perhaps it will also help me return to another part of myself.
Sometimes action becomes clearer when we stop pushing for certainty.
We soften.
We listen.
We receive support.
And then the next step begins to reveal itself.
Healing also begins with curiosity
This is also how I approach my work as a holistic therapist.
Someone may arrive with tension in their shoulders.
Another person may have jaw discomfort, anxiety, tiredness or emotional heaviness.
But the first symptom is not always the whole story.
Rather than deciding too quickly, I listen.
I become curious.
I pay attention to what the body may be communicating.
The body often reveals things gently when it feels safe enough.
A tight jaw may be connected to stress, unspoken emotions or the habit of holding everything together.
Shoulder tension may carry more than physical strain.
Exhaustion may not simply be about needing more sleep.
Healing does not always begin with knowing the answer.
Sometimes it begins with saying:
“Let’s listen.”
This is why my sessions are never one-size-fits-all.
Whether I am offering Therapeutic Massage, Japanese Facial Therapy with Buccal Massage, Reflexology, Reiki, EFT or Emotion Code, I work with the whole person in front of me.
Mentally.
Physically.
Emotionally.
Energetically.
A gentle summer reflection
The school summer holidays can bring joy, travel and more time together.
They can also bring less routine, more responsibility, less personal space and the feeling that everything has become slightly louder.
This may be a helpful moment to soften your expectations of yourself.
You do not need to have every answer.
You do not need to force the next step.
You do not need to carry everything alone.
Perhaps you can ask yourself:
What might I not be seeing yet?
Where could I become more curious?
Who could I ask for support?
What small action feels possible now?
Sometimes the next door does not open because we push harder.
Sometimes it opens because we soften enough to notice the handle.
A Summer Holiday Thank-You
As a small thank-you during the school summer holidays, I am offering 15% off a first session for all new clients throughout August.
This may be a gentle opportunity to receive support mentally, physically, emotionally or energetically through:
🌿 Therapeutic Massage
🌿 Japanese Facial Therapy with Buccal Massage
🌿 Reflexology
🌿 Reiki
🌿 EFT
🌿 Emotion Code
🌿 Reiki Level 1
🌿 Reiki Reset
I practise at HomeWellness in Primrose Hill on Saturdays.
If you know someone who may benefit from my work, please feel free to share my details with them.
If they mention your name when booking, they will receive 15% off their first session during August.
Sometimes the next door opens because someone gently helps us find it.
With warmth,
Naomi Sato 🌿