Menopause is more than hot flushes. For me, it brought unexpected physical changes, questions about beauty and ageing, and a new curiosity about how to look after myself.
My mind is curious. My body has other ideas!
Recently, I went to the Barbican after work to see a play based on Haruki Murakami’s Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World.
I’ve never read his novels. My eyes get tired when I read for too long, so I often prefer music and live theatre.
I love discovering something new!
But I’ve also noticed that after an evening out, the following day I can feel like a complete zombie. :))
My mind says, Let’s do this! And that! And perhaps one more thing!
My body says, Excuse me?
So this time, I left two whole days completely free.
No appointments. No agenda.
Just space to see how I felt.
My body is ageing, but my curiosity certainly isn’t.
It reminded me that looking after ourselves as we age doesn’t necessarily mean giving up the things we love. Sometimes it means finding a different way to enjoy them.
My menopause experience: It wasn’t just hot flushes
My mother used to warn me about hot flushes.
For years, I thought menopause symptoms were mainly about suddenly feeling very hot!
I reached menopause before the age of 50, and my periods stopped without the hot flushes I’d expected.
Oh, that wasn’t so bad!
I thought I’d got away with it. :))
But over time, I began noticing other physical changes.
My lower limbs felt weaker, and I experienced stiffness and pain around my joints.
My muscles didn’t seem as firm or toned as they used to be.
My digestion felt sluggish, and sometimes I experienced discomfort around my stomach after eating.
What on earth is happening to my body?
I hadn’t expected these changes, and I hadn’t connected them with menopause.
They made me more curious about my health, my daily habits and what might support my wellbeing.
Menopause and body image: What was I really seeing in the mirror?
And then there was my face.
I noticed my cheeks beginning to sag and the lines around them becoming deeper.
Oh no, I’m getting old. How boring!
I thought I looked awful. :))
My mother was very conscious of beauty and appearance, and I was criticised about my body when I was young.
I’ve done a lot of personal work around body image and self-acceptance since then.
I understand now that those comments may not have been intended to hurt me, but they still influenced how I saw myself.
It made me wonder:
Was I upset about getting older, or about what I’d learned to believe about beauty?
Through my EFT training, I’ve explored how our beliefs about ageing and appearance can influence our emotional responses to change.
I don’t have to love every wrinkle.
But instead of judging myself for getting older, perhaps I can offer myself a little more care and kindness.
After all, my body has been looking after me for all these years. Perhaps it’s time I looked after it a little differently, too.
Understanding perimenopause and menopause symptoms
One thing I wish I’d understood earlier is that menopause is not the same experience for everyone.
Perimenopause is the transition leading up to menopause, when hormone levels fluctuate and menstrual cycles may begin to change.
Menopause is reached after 12 consecutive months without a period, when there is no other explanation.
Common perimenopause and menopause symptoms can include:
- Hot flushes and night sweats
- Sleep difficulties and changes in energy
- Mood changes, anxiety or difficulty concentrating
- Joint pain and muscle aches
- Changes in vaginal and urinary comfort
Some women experience many symptoms, while others experience very few.
Joint and muscle pain during menopause can be part of the transition, but weakness, digestive discomfort and other symptoms can have several possible causes.
It’s important not to assume that every physical change in midlife is caused by menopause.
If symptoms are persistent, unusual or affecting your daily life, a GP or menopause specialist can help you explore possible causes and appropriate treatment options.
Menopause is a natural transition, but that doesn’t mean we should ignore symptoms that need attention.
Becoming curious about my body and everyday habits
As I became more aware of my changing body, I started paying closer attention to my everyday habits.
What was I eating?
How was I moving?
What was happening emotionally?
I studied kinesiology as part of my interest in holistic wellbeing, which encouraged me to reflect on my daily routines and habits.
These days, I tend to eat when I feel hungry rather than simply because it’s lunchtime or dinnertime.
But when I’m tired, I sometimes find myself reaching for food for comfort.
Yes, I still do emotional eating! :))
Instead of immediately criticising myself, I try to ask:
Am I hungry? Am I tired? Do I need comfort?
Sometimes it’s food.
Sometimes it’s rest.
Sometimes it’s both.
For me, self-care during menopause isn’t about following perfect rules.
It’s about developing a kinder relationship with my body and noticing what might support me.
Emotional wellbeing during menopause: Listening to our bodies
Our physical and emotional experiences can influence one another.
Stress can affect sleep, appetite and muscle tension. Physical changes can also influence our mood, confidence and sense of wellbeing.
I sometimes think our bodies can be more honest than our minds.
Our minds might say:
I’m fine.
I’m not tired.
Of course I can do one more thing!
Meanwhile, our bodies may be asking for something different. :))
Through EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), I explore the feelings and beliefs people carry about themselves and their changing circumstances.
For example:
What do I believe about getting older?
Am I expecting myself to do everything I used to do?
What might support me now?
EFT can provide a space for emotional reflection, but it is not a replacement for medical care or evidence-based treatment for menopausal symptoms.
And not every physical symptom has an emotional cause.
For me, emotional wellbeing during menopause includes making space to understand our feelings without judging ourselves for having them.
Holistic therapy for relaxation and emotional wellbeing
My work as a holistic therapist in Primrose Hill, London, is about creating a calm, welcoming space where your body can begin to soften, your breathing can deepen naturally, and you can reconnect with your own capacity for healing and wellbeing.
Through Reiki and Facial & Foot Neuro-Reflex Therapy for Emotional Release, I offer opportunities to pause, rest and receive supportive care.
These are complementary wellbeing therapies, rather than medical treatments for menopause.
I don’t believe our bodies need fixing simply because they’re changing.
Sometimes we need space to stop pushing ourselves, allow ourselves to rest, and receive care.
Looking after ourselves doesn’t mean we have to do everything alone. Receiving support is part of self-care, too.
I offer treatments at HomeWellness Primrose Hill, London, on Tuesdays and Saturdays.
If you’d like to explore my approach, you can learn more about Emotional Wellbeing or Reiki.
Menopause and ageing: A new chapter, not the end of the story
I still want to enjoy theatre, music, learning and discovering new things.
My body may need more recovery time than it once did.
My face may look different.
And I may still occasionally reach for something comforting when I’m tired!
But none of that means I have to stop being curious.
Perhaps menopause and ageing can invite us to question some of the old beliefs we’ve carried about beauty, our bodies and what we should be able to do.
Not every change will be easy.
And we don’t have to pretend it is.
But we can seek support, make adjustments and offer ourselves a little more care and kindness along the way.
My body may be changing, but there is still so much I want to discover.
With warmth,
Naomi 🌿